Hangry

You may have heard to word hangry before, but if you have not:

HUNGRY + ANGRY = HANGRY. It is when you get so hungry you get angry.

I am the worst when it comes to being hangry. I become entirely psychotic when I am deprived of food. Similar to my caffeine addiction in an earlier post, I become unable to be a social being without food.

Do not talk to me in the morning. I am too lazy to make breakfast, so I am hungry (plus, limited caffeine intake). Even now as I type this I find myself falling into the pit of hangry-ness. (Pulls up Asian take-out menu). Normally I keep snacks within an arms reach. Thank you Clif Bars for saving the lives of those around me.

Here is a description of what happens when I become hangry: First, it hits my mind. I start thinking about food and wonder when the last time I ate was. If it has been more than four hours I begin to panic. I search for a snack or food. Then if I cannot find it the physical anguish of my hunger sets in. I begin to sweat and pace. I have to find food and I need it now. This is the danger zone. I wonder where I can get food to hold me over. Then the savage side comes out. I start breaking necks and mauling people standing in the way of me and my next meal.

There will be blood (except not really because I faint at the sight of blood). I become erratic and not even I know what is going to happen next. I am destructive and destroy everything I love as I turn into the Hulk. I throw things, scream, and go from being the Hulk to a screaming hurricane. Just when everyone believes all hope is lost and the apocalypse is upon them…

Food. I have found it. Whether I have gone out for it, found a snack in my purse, destroyed the fridge… by some means there is food in my hands. I cry tears of joy as I eat and find myself becoming the lady the world is okay with having around.

I just placed my order for take-out in case you wanted an update.

Being hangry is an epidemic. I see it happening to people all the time. If you or someone you know is suffering from hangry-ness follow the following steps.

1. Panic.

2. Scare everyone.

3. Eat.

By scaring people you can ensure that people will fear and respect you. Maybe they will even give you food out of love/fear.

If you don’t want to encounter the hangry hulk inside of you… Keep snacks everywhere: Bags. Desk drawer. On the coffee table. Under the bed. The kitchen. Your lover’s room. Your parent’s room. Between the couch cushions. Taped to the bottom of chairs. Most importantly in your pockets, because pockets are for snacks.

Anyways, I have to go pick up my food now.

When in doubt, eat. Keep yourself from falling off the edge and down into the pit of hangry-ness.

❤ Court

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