It is self-defense really.

No one wants to walk into the bathroom when there is someone ready with a high-powered supersoaker standing guard waiting for their attack.

In my house growing up my dad always thought it was funny to pour ice and cold water over the shower curtain. He would sneak into the bathroom and dump water over the ledge. It was especially easy for him because all three of his daughters love singing in the shower, so there was always noise.

I loved singing in the shower. Keyword: Loved. I do not do it anymore because now I am always listening… always waiting… if I notice a change in the light or hear anything I instantly grab the shower off the wall and turn it to the hardest blasting setting I can. Then I peer out of the shower to see if anyone has entered. If someone is there I make a point of showing the shower blaster just so they don’t try anything stupid. If that person is there with a big glass of water, I do not even make the threat, I just spray them down mercilessly.

This is my shower… my domain… my safe place.

I am one of those people who has my deepest thoughts in the shower. I think about workplace strategy, the best way to clear my acne,  political arguments, what toys I should get for my dog, the benefits of living in the city vs suburb, which character I am on New Girl… deep thoughts. (I am fairly confident that I am Coach on New Girl, though my pranking skills are more aligned with  Nick.)

I went to college, moved out, and then did what most people do when the graduate college and have $50k of student loan debt… I moved back in to my parents’ home. Now, I am no Saint. I have poured ice cold water on each of my family members at someone point in time or another. I am a mean person, I was raised to be a prankster who holds nothing back, and I live with like-minded people.

Now this doesn’t mean we don’t have quality family time where we aren’t planning our next attack. We have gone on camping trips, built things together, cook family meals… if food is involved, it is basically a time of peace because we love food and food is sacred. But the rest of the time is fair game.

Recently my dad came in the bathroom and I noticed the light change on the side of the wall that the slight 2-inch opening in the curtain provided. I slowly slid the shower head down as I heard him snicker, and just as I saw a shadow raise along the wall I stuck the shower head out along the wall and sprayed him head to toe with water. He still dumped the water on me out of spite, but it was my victory. I won that battle.

The war will never end… mainly because I will continue pranking… I will teach my friends & loved ones in the art of pranking… there can be no end.

Moral of the story: do not keep your cell phone in your pocket at my house unless you have a waterproof case.

❤ Court